


Given Life

by campe



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Minor Character Death, Sci-Fi, Slow Build, Soulmates, memory lost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 19:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6207325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campe/pseuds/campe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A whole new world set in the future. Everyday feels the same for Clarke - she aches for something she doesn't know. A girl keeps showing up in her dreams and in Lexa's too. Everyday they both take an injection. Little do they know what it does to them or what's behind it all. A slow build sci-fi story with Clexa.</p><p>My first fan fiction - Take a chance with me!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wake up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you guys enjoy this story and yeah a little warning - English is not my first language so I'd appreciate if you'd leave on the comments my mistakes. This is my way to cope after the 307.

Clarke

 

She’s slowly starting to open her eyes as she inhales the forest surrounding her. She feels the moisture in her bare skin and slowly the world’s haze and madness disappears even just for a moment she’s there again – the place where she feels at home. She takes everything in; her senses are aching to receive anything from the surrounding world and she breathes deeply like there’s no worry in the world. She can trust the steady ground beneath her and the forest’s sound is like music in her ears. Her mind has found its peace.

 

 

After for a while she smells sweat instead of the forest and feels warmth instead of the moist breeze and hears noises instead of the quiet wind howling and the birds singing. Slowly she was being pulled out back to the harsh reality and the heavy cloud is again polluting her mind with heavy thoughts. The hardest part was always coming back to the living.

 

 

 _“Always here, Clarke.”_ Bellamy said with a little disappointed quietness in his voice. _“Wake up! Why are you always putting your money on these machines?”_ Clarke won’t answer because she knows that Bellamy already has the answer. _“Well don’t answer then. I just got out of practice”_ She can smell it. She’s frustrated and he’s frustrated, but she’s still thankful for the time Bellamy gives her. _“Yeah well let’s go then and you really have to try these machines. I’m telling you! I know you’d love to”_ Clarke says with a little hope and tease in her voice. _“You never know what those machines does to your brains!”_ She knew she couldn’t win this fight so she lets it go.

 

 

The way to her house was always quiet. Bellamy doesn’t really know what to say or to feel. He is happy that Clarke is at least going out because nowadays she’s always at home painting and reading but ever since these machines came she has always spend her money and time inside the virtual world. He has heard some rumors about the side effects and he really doesn’t want to try it out before everything was sorted out. Sometimes it’s hard to resist – he really wants to enter the world before his time. He knows how Clarke feels – this life doesn’t feel like home and even though Bellamy feels the same way they have different solutions. Instead of using the machines Bellamy loses himself in History books.

 

 

By the time he drops Clarke at her house she’s already so hungry and as usually Clarke is yet again alone, kind of. Her mother Abby spends most of her free time in a room that used to be Clarke’s fathers office. It’s a soundproof room and always locked. She calls it the bomb room and even though her mother can’t hear anything through the thick walls Clarke always shouts “ _Mom I’m home!”_ and always end up with the same quietness. She starts to order some food. Nowadays the meals are planned and prepared ready for everybody. Even though it’s easier than doing it herself she can’t help but to miss cooking and the unhealthy fast food.

 

 

The house was too quiet. She barely remembers when was the last time her house was filled with joy. She barely even sees her own mother who spends too many hours in the bomb room. They used to eat every meal together but something has changed in the few months and now the only time they spend time together are the breakfasts or at least when her mother checks if Clarke has taken her injection. Sometimes Clarke wonders if her mother is ever going to be fine. Is she losing her mind over there?

 

 

She doesn't have a say to her mother’s condition. She too spends too much time in her own room, art room. It wasn’t soundproof but it also stayed locked and the only one who can enter there is Clarke. The room was haunting. It was full of the same face, the same body and the same place. It has always been her face, her body and the place she feels at home. Her face was so familiar yet so foreign. Her face brought secureness but also loneliness. Her face brought many unanswered questions.

 

 

 

Lexa

 

 _“Good morning sleepyhead it’s 3:45 pm! This must be a record.”_ Lexa groans while she kicks herself out of the bed. When she landed on her feet she realized the mess she has left. Empty bottles around the room, dirty clothes and crumpled papers everywhere. She tries to hide them before her sister Anya enters the room but when she lifts her head away from the floor her eyes met her sister’s disappointed eyes. _“You quit your job for this?”_ Anya yells but then sees the sadness and tiredness in her little sisters eyes and gives up. _“Okay let’s go eat breakfast and after that we’ll get you together and yes my holiday has just started and you won’t get rid of me.”_ Once again Lexa groans but still she feels a little lighter inside. She has missed her sister and her straightforwardness. She hates when people try to please her.

 

 

After changing her clothes she goes straight to Anya’s car where she was waiting for Lexa. The ride is always quiet. They always leave the speaking to the cafeteria and after drinking the night before Lexa needs at least a coffee before she opens her mouth. Her head is pounding, her body is sore and her hair is in a messy bun. She wasn’t ready to get up. _What have I become?_

 

 

After they order and settle down to sit Anya starts the conversation by saying _“Hey look at me. I’m not here to judge I’m here to help”_ She didn’t have to say it aloud; Lexa knows this already, but still Lexa took some comfort in her sister’s words. _“I know I know! I’ve been a mess since I quit my job but not really. I feel free and now I have the time to write.”_ She lied to her a little because yes she feels free, but not really. She feels empty and like a piece of a puzzle is missing inside of her. Without the missing piece she isn’t free. Still she keeps on writing and writing and maybe that’s the way she tries to find the missing part. _“Good that you’ve earned more than you could spend in your lifetime. Now you have the freedom and time to write without worrying about everything.”_ Anya says with a grin on her face. _“Yeah I guess so.”_ Lexa answers with a smile on her face, but sadness in her eyes. _She was scared that she would never find the missing piece even if she had all the time in the world._

 

 

After the breakfast they went back to the apartment to clean. Lexa’s mind is more in ease than before the breakfast and she’s almost ready to start the day. She starts to hurry and hide all the messy stuff she doesn’t want Anya to see but it was too late. Anya was too quick to find the letters with the text _for her._ Lexa tries to get the letters out of Anya’s hand like it was a reflex but she knows it’s too late for that. _“Don’t say that these are for HER”_ Lexa cuts her off with frustration and shyness in her quiet voice, _“for the girl who keeps appearing in my dreams and in my thoughts.”_ She looks straight into her sister’s eyes and nods _“yes they are for her.”_ The words took all the courage she barely had in her even though it was not the first time she has mentioned about her to Anya. Even though she trusts Anya and even though Anya is the only one she trusts she still worries about the consequences. She would never admit to her where she spends most of her time. Lexa fumbles with the letters in her hand as Anya gives her a quiet understanding with her worried eyes. The rest of the day continues, as a quiet one both of them needs it.

 

 

 

Back in time

 

 _“What have I done?”_ she said with a voice like she’s out of breath, with desperation and sadness in her eyes and her face wet from the tears. Her eyes lit from the burning people outside her secured room. She can’t spend her time grieving. Just a little bit of work and her creation is ready. A weight of certainty took over her and she wipes her tears away. I can do this. Without her team beside her she continues with a hurry but she knows the harsh truth; _she doesn’t have time to find the missing piece_ and she doesn’t have a choice but to activate the system she has created. She presses the button and shortly after that she connects her creation into her neck and just like that the fog she has created is spreading like wildfire. She watches it from the window until everything blackouts.

 

 

 _“Becca. Becca. Wake up! It worked! It actually worked!”_ Her vision still fuzzy she couldn’t see who was in front of her. She tries to open her eyes but the light is too bright and her eyelids are too heavy. Instead of focusing her energy to open her eyes she reaches for pain in her head. _I must’ve hit my head_. _“Doc! Doc! Come here!”_ are the last words she remembers before everything went to black again.


	2. Dreams

Clarke

 

_Your long brown hair feels so soft in my hand and smells like your favourite candle scent. Your face stays calm and I can see ghost of a smile upon your lips. Your warm and soft hand fits perfectly with mine. I feel safe. Your heart is beating next to mine. My lullaby. My forever._

 

 _“Honey it’s time to eat your breakfast and for your injection!”_ Abby yells from another room and starts to walk towards Clarke’s room. _“Clarke did you hear me?”_ By the time she reaches the room Clarke’s already up. Both of their faces filled with confusion but from different reasons. Clarke forgot to hide her drawing and it was too late. Her mother’s eyes are already laid upon them. _“Clarke what is this? Who is this?”_ her mother asked without hiding her panic that well. She took a deep breath and said _“I meant is this your new friend?”_ Luckily Clarke is too tired to notice her mother’s worry and her own confusion was filled by her dream. _“No she’s the same girl who appears in my dreams time to time, remember?”_ Her mother takes another deep breath and tries to balance her emotions before answering, “ _yeah but you do remember that you should tell me about those dreams every time you get them, okay honey?”_ Clarke answers with a frustrated _yeah._ She never understood why was it such a big deal – her mother is never interested in here anyways. She follows her mother to the kitchen.

 

 

The breakfast was filled with glances full of questions. Her mother was the first one to actually ask anything _“well about the drawing could you tell me about it?”_ she tried to hide her fear with a smile. _“I just saw a dream and her face appeared for a second and disappeared.”_ Clarke answered effortlessly. She never told about how the dreams felt more like a memory and how her every sense felt active. She feels it, she hears it, and she sees it. _“Are you sure honey?”_ She knew that she isn’t telling the whole truth. _“Yes I am”_ Clarke answers. Just when her mother opens her mouth Clarke opens the TV and the commercial fills the room _“Ready meals! Custom made just for you! Live a long and healthy life with these delicious meals!”_ Clarke is just fed up already with these strict healthy life things _“Mom don’t you miss the old times when you cooked your own meal and the pizza oh it was so good I still remember how they taste like.”_ Her mother misses all of them. “ _The government just wants us to be healthy, honey! Our lifespan has increased and people are much healthier now! Thanks for the new creations!”_ They both started to laugh both of them weren’t into these new _strict laws_ and _norms_. Her mother’s laugh is quickly washed away with a heavy worry in her face and they both looked away from each other. In this moment Clarke noticed how much she has missed her mother’s laugh.

 

 

They finish their breakfasts and they both nodded an understanding and went to their own separate safe rooms. They both understand each other without saying a word. Still Clarke was afraid that one day she’ll leave the door open or one way or another her mom will see the secrets her room holds but she couldn’t help herself. She haves to paint her every time she appears to her. She _needs_ to and she _aches_ to save every moment of her dream. To her every little detail matters but the most important thing was to save the feeling the dream held. She wanted the feeling to last even just for a moment more.

 

 

 

 

Lexa

 

_I can feel her eyes watching me and I let her. I can feel her playing with my hair and I let her. I can feel her another hand in my hand. It’s awfully cold but I let her. It’s so quiet I can hear your every breath and you’re so close it’s hard to resist the urge to kiss you. I feel safe. My chest is filled with love. I lo-_

 

 _“Wake up! Lets go for a jog! You know the drill.”_ Anya yells. _You don’t make it any easier to love you_ Lexa thinks before saying _“yes darling just a second”_ sarcastically _._ Lexa’s chest is still filled with love and with desire. Sometimes it drives her crazy and desperate for the feeling to last. She wants to hold onto it like it’s the only keeping her sane and alive. Nothing makes her feel like this but her dreams about _the blonde woman_ and the machine she has bought some time ago makes the feeling last longer and her mind finds its peace in there. She could spend hours in that place, _in that safe place,_ until she’s starving. She curses in her mind when she realises that she can’t use the machine while Anya is staying at her place.

 

 

She gives up the urge to fight against going for a jog and goes along with it. She hasn’t run with her sister for years now. She just to be the one who could run forever but right now she can’t even keep up with her sister. She stops to take rapid breaths and tries to get herself together. She can already hear her sister laughing in her head but instead she sees her worried eyes. _“Doesn’t anybody come to check if you’ve done the sport drill?”_ Anya asked. _“No”_ I said and took another deep breath “ _I paid him not to”._ Anya gives her _I should have known –_ look _. “I guess everybody has a price”._ She was right but oh boy how out of shape Lexa is but her sister’s worry makes her want to take care of herself because she knows that’s the way her sister is going to feel better too when she doesn’t need to worry about her little sister all the time.

 

 

Anya takes her by her hand and leads them to the nearest bench. Lexa knows that Anya wants to talk about the letters. She can see her thinking how to ask about it so she lays her hand in her sister’s leg and makes it easier to her _“you shouldn’t worry about the letters. It calms me and I won’t feel so lost with my feelings when I put them down in words.”_ Lexa said without looking at Anya. _“It’s gotten worse sis. I don’t know what to say but I’m here now. You can talk to me about it whenever you want and step by step we’ll get you back in shape”_ she gives her a half smile. Her eyes are so kind and hopeful but Lexa’s eyes are tired and full of sadness.  _Lexa doesn’t know how to keep on going. She wants answers to her questions. “I missed you big sis”_ Lexa says and it’s the truth. She’s been alone too long even when she was at the top of her career she was already alone. _She doesn’t want to admit this even to herself._


End file.
